Have you ever had to struggle? We all do on a regular basis, right? I seem to be in the center of a couple
struggles right now in my life. Usually
things come easy for me, but I am working on a project that is really
stretching me. I find myself turning
ideas over and over in my head as I try and understand the best way to serve
gifted students in the age of Common Core Standards. This piece is not about Common Core, we can
talk about that another time, rather it is about struggling through something
when you are not used to struggling.
My own son is struggling in school right now. In the age of high stakes testing I see the
frustration in his eyes when we begin a topic he doesn’t understand and he
feels like he is never going to get it. As
parents, we teach him to persevere by saying “It isn’t going to be easy, but I
promise you it will be worth it.”
Gifted kids on the other hand, are not used to the feeling
of angst that comes along with struggling on something. Things come easy to them and when they have
to struggle they often break down because the feeling is so foreign and they do
not know how to cope with it. We need
to teach them the art of the struggle.
Here are a few suggestions that parents and teachers can do to help
students who are struggling.
- Help students take a deep breath and calm themselves. In order to tackle difficult things they have to be in a good place emotionally.
- Through storytelling, share a time in your life when you struggled with something and how you worked through the struggle. Be sure to add that it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
- Teach them some positive self talk by modeling it aloud. Their brain should be reacting positively to the task at hand. At first use your voice to teach them the kinds of things they should be saying to themselves.
- Transfer the ownership to the student by having them share with you what their brain is telling them. Correct the child if they are experiencing negative self talk.
- Remind them that the struggle isn’t going to be easy, but it will be worth it.
It is my nature as a mother to want to protect my children
from struggles. I think many of us feel
that way. But like the story of the butterfly that has to fight her way out of the cocoon in order to survive, I have learned that we must give our children wings to fly.
I will tell you something—it is much easier to help your child through
struggles on “small” things when they are younger, rather than them having to
experience their first struggles in high school or college when the stakes are
much higher. Find the little things that
might create struggle and be the voice on their shoulder to help them through
the difficult moments. This voice will
be with them as they face bigger challenges in the future. Remember, it isn’t going to be easy but I
promise you, it will be worth it.
